Everyone involved in the process knows delivering potatoes further than five yards from the fryer is a disappointment waiting to happen.
Steam builds.
Edges soften.
Crunch dies first.
And yet you keep ordering them.
So, can you commit to a sit?
Nowon’s honey butter tater tots are engineered for peak crispiness. Soft potato inside with glossy honey butter pooling in the ridges. A little sweet, a little salty. Put that in a sealed box and the butter steams the crunch away and the sauce would leave your potatoes in a puddle.
Nowon
Carne Mare’s twice baked potato is the standard for a steakhouse side. The skin holds the structure while the whipped interior is coated with cheese and butter and baked again until the top bronzes. Every bite is fluffy and crisp at the same time. Delivery would sweat the crispy skin into a rubbery, regretful bite.
Carne Mare
S&P Lunch’s latkes are flat, lacy, and aggressively crisp at the edges. They come out brown and still sizzling.
S&P Lunch
Pommes Frites at Zimmi’s are thin, golden, and must be dipped immediately.
Veselka’s potato pierogis are soft, pan seared, and lose all integrity when soggy.
Veselka
I can’t say these are crisp, but while we’re talking about potatoes I urge you to put on your nice shoes for the pommes aligot at Minetta Tavern. These are far beyond mashed potatoes. This is a molten blend of potato and melted cheese whipped until it stretches like silk.
This is bigger than texture. When you only eat potatoes on your couch, you disconnect from the sizzle that made them. One day when we’re all in WALL-E chairs on a spaceship, you might miss the sound of a potato plate hitting the table.
Go touch grass - or at least a bar stool.
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