Christmas in New York is not peaceful. It’s strategic.
You’re not here for serenity. You’re here to manage personalities, dodge conversations, and eat your way through emotional landmines with minimal casualties. Somebody is going to bring up money. Someone else is going to bring up the past. At least one person will talk too much and contribute nothing. That’s tradition.
This is your reminder that you don’t have to win Christmas. You don’t have to fix anyone. You don’t have to explain your life choices between bites of dry turkey. Show up, eat well, stay sharp, and keep your expectations low. That’s how you survive family time with dignity intact.
Everything only matters if you let it. Today is optional stress.
HOW TO ORDER AT A DOMINICAN SPOT WITHOUT LOOKING BRAND NEW
There’s a rhythm to these places. Learn it, or the señora with the ladle will read your whole résumé.
A real Dominican spot in New York has its own operating system. Morning rush of construction crews, nurses coming off overnight shifts, kids grabbing empanadas on the way to school, regulars who don’t even need to order. And then you walk in and ask, “Umm… what do you recommend?” The señora behind the counter pauses mid-scoop. Not out of rudeness. Out of clarity. She knows you don’t know the workflow.
Here’s how it actually works.
If it’s morning, Dominican breakfast is universal across NYC: mangu tres golpes. Mangu (mashed green plantains), queso frito, salami, and eggs. These four items are the standard order from Washington Heights to the Bronx to Corona. Don’t remix it. Don’t brunch-ify it. Order it the way it exists.
LATIN FOOD IN NYC
THE WELLNESS MENU MADNESS IS HITTING NYC HARD
Restaurants are stacking “functional” ingredients into dishes nobody asked for. Mushrooms, adaptogens, and collagen are trendy, overpriced, and rarely tasty. Flavor should come before hype, always.
Let’s get one thing straight: adding mushroom powder to fries does not make them magical. Collagen in a cocktail will not make your skin glow in the middle of a Tuesday. Adaptogens in aioli don’t make your sandwich more enlightened. Yet somehow, across Chelsea, Williamsburg, and SoHo, restaurants are piling functional ingredients into plates nobody asked to fix.
— Leila Molitor
WHAT PEOPLE ARE SAYING TO US:
WHICH IS MORE NYC?
NEW SERIES: WHO RUINED IT? A FORENSIC FOOD LOOK & FINGER POINTING.
EP1: THE RAINBOW BAGEL.
New York has survived blackouts, blizzards, bankruptcies, mayors with questionable hobbies, and at least six separate cupcake waves. But nothing shook this city’s culinary self-respect quite like the rainbow bagel. One day we were happily chewing sesame and everything like functioning adults. The next day, Brooklyn woke up looking like a Lisa Frank fever dream had leaked into the food supply. And instantly, every New Yorker let out that deep, diaphragm-level noise we reserve for stalled trains and tourists blocking the subway stairs: ugh.
TEQUILA DRINKERS DON'T HEAL. THEY RELOAD AND COME BACK LOUDER, WILDER, AND POORER
Pour Decisions: The series exposing what you drink and the chaos you create.
Here’s the thing about tequila people. They never ease into a night. They kick the door open already talking about “new chapter energy.” Red flag number one: nobody who’s actually calm announces it.
They order tequila neat or a straight shot. Lime is optional. Salt is for tourists. They breathe in like they’re about to do surgery. You think, maybe they’re mature now. Cute thought. Hold onto it. It won’t survive long.
— Leila Molitor
WAIT, BEFORE YOU GO…
If things get loud, awkward, or emotionally unhinged, remember this: none of it has power unless you hand it over.
Take the walk. Step outside. Refill your drink. Text someone who gets you. Eat dessert even if you’re “not hungry.” Leave early if you need to. Stay late if it’s fun. Both are wins.
Christmas is one day. Your peace is a long game. Protect it like a New Yorker would. Calm on the outside. Unbothered on the inside.
