By Leila Molitor.
New York ruined the mocktail the second it realized it could charge cocktail money without giving you the cocktail. That’s the whole scam. And it’s a good one.
The NA movement started with purpose. People wanted to cut back, stay sharp, avoid the next-day brain fog. Great. Then some bright soul figured out they could squeeze sixteen dollars out of a glass of muddled berries and melted ice, hit it with a sprig of thyme, and call it “mindful mixology.” Ever since, every neighborhood from Nolita to Park Slope turned into a laboratory for liquid regret.
Walk into half the Williamsburg bars on a Friday night and you’ll see people holding drinks that look gorgeous but taste like melted apple-flavored gummies undergoing an identity crisis. Meanwhile bartenders are whispering tasting notes like they’re reading tarot. Here’s a real question: If I’m paying full freight without the buzz, shouldn’t the drink at least taste alive?
But let’s be fair: some spots actually do it right. If you want non-alcoholic drinks done with intention, go to these places. They prove NA cocktails can be thoughtful, balanced, and adult.
Mace (East Village) – herb-driven and legit creative zero-proof options
Double Chicken Please (LES) – they take flavor seriously, period
Hekate Cafe & Elixir Lounge (East Village) – high technique, no sugar bombs
Westlight (Williamsburg) – NA menu with actual complexity
Dante (Greenwich Village) – big flavors, no fake wellness vibes
But most of the city? You’re paying premium prices to drink “juice with aspirations.” New York needs better mocktails. Or at least mocktails that don’t taste like your childhood lunchbox.
Who’s serving the worst offender? Drop the place. We’re listening.
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