It’s Cyber Monday, which means the internet is screaming at you to buy things you didn’t want yesterday at prices that were normal last week. Nothing says end-of-year clarity like a fake countdown clock and a brand telling you this deal is “for today only” for the ninth straight day.
Meanwhile, New York is limping toward the finish line. Grown adults are roaming Midtown begging hotel lobbies for bathroom access. Gyms are filling up with people announcing their New Year’s resolutions like press releases. Bars are still pretending water isn’t essential infrastructure. The city smells like cold fries, spilled champagne, and false optimism.
Before the year resets and everyone reinvents themselves for fourteen days, we’re keeping it grounded. Real food. Real takes. Real fights over bagels, ketchup, and identity. You don’t need a discount code. You need perspective.
Let’s close this year like New Yorkers. Eyes open. Wallet guarded. Appetite intact.
NEW YORK'S NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION: FIX YOURSELF BEFORE YOU JUDGE US
This city loves preaching self-improvement every January while ignoring the decay, chaos, and hypocrisy punching residents in the face daily. Here’s what has to change first.
New York is addicted to New Year’s resolutions. This city treats January like a magic cleanse even though nothing in this place has been washed properly since the Koch administration. Every year, we watch people talk about “new chapters” while standing in the same chaos they swore they’d escape last year. Gyms fill up, bookstores sell out of motivational paperbacks, and everyone promises to reinvent themselves. Cute. But let’s start with the part nobody says out loud.
New Yorkers shouldn’t make resolutions until the city stops acting like a malfunctioning amusement ride built in the seventies and never repaired. You want real improvement? Here are ten things New York needs to fix before anyone tries to fix themselves.
One: The sidewalks need to stop ambushing people. Walking in this city shouldn’t feel like dodging landmines. The cracks are deep enough to swallow toddlers. The loose tiles could double as weapons. The tree roots are running a coup. Before anyone commits to “walk more,” maybe ensure our feet survive a block without a workplace injury report. READ FULL STORY.
SHOULD THE CITY BAN CHARGING FOR WATER WHEREVER ALCOHOL IS SOLD?
In a city that sells nightlife as freedom, movement, and endurance, charging for water isn’t business. It’s a public safety failure hiding in plain sight.
There are arguments that deserve nuance, and then there are arguments that shouldn’t exist in the first place. This is one of those. New York City should ban charging for water in clubs and nightlife venues. Not bottled water. Not premium anything. Basic water. Tap water. Hydration. The thing human bodies need more of when alcohol, heat, crowd density, and music all collide at once. It’s common sense.
DESTINATION: VISIT HONG KONG WITHOUT EVEN LEAVING MANHATTAN
Old-school Hong Kong in Manhattan is a vanishing act. These spots are the keepers of the flame. Support the owners, bring your bills, and if you know a few words of Cantonese, now is the time to use them.
Look, the skyline is shifting. Manhattan’s Chinatown is currently in a heavyweight street fight with time. Luxury condos are sprouting where roast meat shops used to hang their birds, and generic bubble tea chains are muscling out the family-run bakeries that raised generations of New Yorkers.
But if you know where to pivot, the soul of old-school Hong Kong, the fatty roast duck, the silky congee, the wok-fired chaos of a dai pai dong, and the neon-lit comfort of a cha chaan teng is still kicking. You don’t need a passport or a thirteen-hour flight delay. You just need forty-one bucks, a MetroCard, and a healthy appetite for nostalgia.
WHICH BAGEL SPOT IS THE REAL ONE?
WHOS' BAGEL REIGN SUPREME?
I’ve worked in this industry for 30 years. These are the things that impressed me, annoyed me, and fed my obsession this week
1 — Dukagjini Burek (Bronx) — Real Talk, Real Flavor
2 — Colima Taqueria (Bronx) — Tacos That Don’t Play Games
3 — Nur Thai (Astoria) — Mocktails With Respect
4 — NO THANK YOU — Stuffed Bagel Spots (Overhyped and Not Worth It)
5 — Street Food City at the Museum of Food & Drink, History That Feeds Your Brain
WHAT YOUR SAUCE OF CHOICE SAYS ABOUT YOU: KETCHUP PEOPLE.
The personality, power, and cultural story behind the sauces we swear by.
Ketchup is the "Nice Guy" of the fridge. Predictable, clingy, and surprisingly basic. It doesn't have the audacity of mustard or the quiet sophistication of a kewpie mayo. It’s the condiment of the risk-averse. If your fridge contains nothing but a crusty bottle of Hunt’s, you probably still have your childhood bedroom exactly how you left it. It represents a refusal to engage with the bitterness of the real world, preferring instead to drown everything in a high-fructose security net.
YEA, YOU’RE CUTE TOO…
That weird, quiet week between Christmas and New Year’s is my favorite version of New York. The city softens. Schedules blur. Everyone moves a little slower, like we all turned into Macaulay Culkin at the same time. Inner child activated. Guard down. Still New York, just less sharp. And yeah, that’s fucking cute.
This is the window. See family or the people who count. Eat good food without a plan. Go for long walks. Have two or three drinks, not a whole spiral. Rewatch a movie you love. Start a small tradition you keep. The city snaps back soon. Enjoy this version while it’s here.
